Author: Shivani Sharma
Student Of Information Science Engineering, BMS Institute of Technology & Management, Bengaluru
Adoption is a legally, emotionally and socially justified process. It’s like placing the last piece of a puzzle kept unsolved for years. The puzzle of life of an individual or a couple willing to complete their family and to cherish the feeling of being complete. Where that last piece is a broken or unbroken soul breathing the air of another state or living just down the street. This soul blesses that individual or couple with a complete family and some exploratory parenting skills. And in turn, that soul gets not just a shelter but people to count upon for life and call them family too.
How much ever adoption is auspicious or holy but the reasons for a kid to be thrown like a dice between being in one family then to another is more saddening than that. All those kids in orphanages are a victim of the worst-case scenario which we only think when we really judge a situation. Out of them, 20%’s parents died and the rest were abandoned by their parents. Poverty, disabilities and discrimination are the most highlighted reasons behind orphaned and abandoned children. Whereas the mental instability among the members in the family because of alcohol or drug abuse are those non-conventional reasons which do come in sight but not get acknowledged. Certainly, because the mental or emotional harm on the blooming kid, be it an infant or a teen is heinous than living a low profiled life in an orphanage. But! For sure family management with less money in hand and the gender preference too adds on for a kid ending up in an orphanage. Another reason being the lack of preventative and alternative family and community-based care services mean that social workers readily refer children into orphanages, as suggested by the UN Guidelines on Alternative Care. And somehow the money issue associated with raising a kid becomes another reason for him or her to be homed in an orphanage. It is not just abandoning rather it is earning by selling their newborn or their sunshine to a pimp. Eventually letting him or her to fall into child trafficking and exploitation.
Following the statistics, there are people who are willing to adopt a new life into theirs. Statistics from Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA), a statutory body of Ministry of Women & Child Development says the number of people adopting in the country is rising even though the statistics have faced a decline in the past and in present because of the world pandemic situation. Even though IVF is considerate and feasible too, but it doesn’t offer a definite result to everyone. Whereas adoption being a long lawful process definitely assures giving what you want, a joy of being parents.
But then there comes a whole set of not rules and regulations but myths of society that governs you being a parent, socially. “Adoption is only for those who can’t give birth to their own child”, “Adoption is not ethical or not in our culture”, “Children from bad families turn out to be bad” and so on. Tracing Hindu mythology there are many examples to bust out these myths. King Shantanu of Hastinapur adopted the abandoned twins Kripa and Kripi lying in the woods (named by him). A distraught Shantanu, whose wife Ganga had recently left him with their newborn son Devavrat, yearns for a child and immediately picks them up and as one. Which rules out that “Adoption is only for those who can’t give birth to their own child”. Well if this one example was not enough to demolish the myth that “Adoption is not ethical or not in our culture” as Sita is the most prominent and well-known example of an adopted child in Indian mythology where she was found by a childless king Janaka and his wife Sunaina. And if her birth parents would have mattered to Janaka then there wouldn’t have been any valour, selfless and strong Sita as we have in our mythology. So, it is not the society it’s you who will build yours and someone else’s life.
Being home to more than thirty million OAC (Orphaned and abandoned children), the adoption process in India is governed by multiple laws and adherence. There are eligibility criteria for a person to adopt and for the child to be adopted. Sometimes it takes months and sometimes years. But if you can survive the registration, counselling, referrals, acceptance, petitions, foster care, court hearing and court order, then there is none better than you to raise that wandering beautiful soul.
Those who survived this became examples to the modern mobile world, some preferred being unveiled and those who were already in the radar of news media or social media too got to be the representative. The Representative of the fact that how now the worst-case scenario of the kid will get changed to the better one. And who is always on the radar? It’s the celebrities from the film or TV industry. Salma Khan, Sushmita Sen, Raveena Tandon, Sunny Leone, Jay Bhanushali and most recently of all Mandira Bedi. She is getting adored and praised by the major population but there are some maniacs. Some appreciate her for adopting even when she already had a son, whereas those maniacs criticize for the same. But it’s the will that catalyzes to just make the process fast and worth it.
So, adopting a child being the terror on expanding your generation is still the hope for many. Where the process of adopting one out over 21 million is not still tight and crisp, but the time spent to adopt is worth it. Be it heinous or nerve breaking reasons for a kid ending being the piece of the puzzle from one puzzle to another, the fact that the puzzle gets solved and glued for life is all that the kid and the incomplete life of an individual and a couple wants.
“We are guilty of many errors and many faults, but our worst crime is abandoning the children, neglecting the fountain of life. Many of the things we need can wait. The child cannot. Right now, is the time his bones are being formed, his blood is being made, and his senses are being developed. To him we cannot answer ‘Tomorrow,’ his name is today.”
― Gabriela Mistral
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